Potions
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me: there are no ‘rules’ for fantasy, and that’s the beautiful thing about it. sure there are staples of the genre, but a creator shouldn’t feel bound by them. the only limits are your imagination!
fantasy game: the health potions aren’t red.
me: you lost me.
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
“YOUR DRAUGHT OF LIVING DEATH COULDN’T KILL A FRUIT FLY”
“YOU PUT SO MUCH GINGER IN THAT POTION IT TASTES LIKE A WEASLEY”
I had a thought: Neville’s greatest fear was Snape. And for ten months of every year for seven years, he went back and faced that fear over and over and over again. It would be like tossing Ron into a nest of spiders every day. Or pitching Harry against a Dementor every day. Neville went back for Potions every time, never skipped out, never ran away. Kid was braver than anyone ever noticed from the very beginning, even before he started standing up for himself.
The boy has never had anything nice and the second he gets his hands on some money he tries to buy a fucking solid gold cauldron like started from the bottom now we here I love him so much
Honestly Hagrid saved Harry from so much embarrassment. Can you imagine him turning up to his first potions lesson with a fucking solid gold cauldron??? Like Snape already hated Harry think about what he would have said if Harry just plonked that on his desk
I think he would have said fuck it to his promise to dumbledore and murdered Harry on the spot
AGAIN WITH THE SOLID GOLD POSSESSIONS HARRY. I’m surprised he never replaced his glasses with solid gold ones the boy clearly has a taste for the finer things in life. Or when he had his bones removed by Lockhart in second year, he probably had to stop himself from asking Pomfrey to just fill his arm up with gold instead of bones.
NO WONDER HE CAN SEE THE FUCKIN SNITCH SO WELL HE’S ON THE HUNT FOR GOLD
Caught in a rather good romance
It sounds like I’m playing a video game and someone is trying to sell me potions. :D
…that is exactly what it sounds like
me, at the psychiatrist’s office: hello, potion seller. i am going into battle and i want your strongest potions.
After a big battle in which our Dragonborn was down to 1 HP and clearly dying. The bard and cleric had just beaten a big boss together because he rolled so many low rolls and they rolled high. But the dragonborn and a human companion had been fighting a horde of enemies and were in trouble and needed the cleric to heal.
DB: Okay so I’m dying. Can you heal me?
Human: Same. I need some healing or potions or something!
Gnome: (Looks at cleric) Uh…
Cleric: You want to say “loot the bodies first” don’t you?
Gnome: (Shrugs) I never liked them much anyway.
Don't be ridiculous
- Harry: We'll never find a partner for the Yule Ball.
- Ron: What about Lavender?
- Harry: Sprained her ankle. Apparently she tripped over something.
- Ron: Oh. What about Parvati?
- Harry: She hasn't come out of the girls' dormitory since the Potions accident yesterday. Hermione said the blemishes will fade though.
- Ron: Huh. Okay, what about her sister Padma?
- Harry: Nope. Somebody hexed her hair short. She's been crying for days.
- Ron: What is going on? It's like somebody's trying to prevent us from getting a date to this thing!
- Draco: Don't be ridiculous, Weasley!
- Ron: Oh?
- Draco: I couldn't care less about YOUR date!
punsbulletsandpointythings